Celebrating Our Uniqueness

   Last Sunday, Dec. 12, 2010, I offered a lecture at Britten Memorial Church on "Awakening the Creative Spirit".





   What really came to me during that lecture and on reflection afterwards was how incredibly beautiful and unique every single human being is. Every one of us (regardless of race, gender, etc.) looks different, speaks differently, moves differently, thinks and sees the world differently, dreams differently, experiences differently. Many of us are frequently wondering,  questioning, exploring, trying to figure out what our true life purpose is.  Maybe all we really have to do is to fully embrace and express and celebrate our own uniqueness.

   Just as every snowflake that ever falls to Earth is different from every other snowflake that falls to Earth, so it is with human beings. All the individual snowflake does, on its journey to earth, is to express its incredible, unique beauty and then it unites with all of the other millions and billions of equally unique and beautiful snowflakes to cover the earth in  their (united) glistening white magnificence. A fresh snowfall can create a picture of beauty and harmony and peacefulness over the land that it covers. There is nothing quite like seeing the barren December trees covered by a coating of fresh white snow. All of those individual snowflakes originate from the same source. They come to Earth floating, sometimes gently, sometimes with an almost "vengeance" depending on the winds, as separate unique beings or creations.  Then they re-unite, as One, to cover the Earth. 

   Imagine if all of humanity could come to Earth expressing the full potential of each individual human being's unique beauty and  qualities, and then we (the individual human beings) could unite and cover the Earth in beauty and harmony and peace.

   Many of us who are on a Spiritual Journey or who are questing after Spiritual Awakenings, work very hard through meditation or other Spiritual Practices to feel and express our "Oneness" with Source, our "Oneness with all of life. And that is extremely important work -- to realize our connectedness with all that is. In order to fully develop compassion and love for all, we need to understand and feel that we are all from One Source (whatever our individual expression of the Source may be) and that what happens to one, affects all. In order to move past all of the ego trappings of fear and separation and greed and conflict, it is important that we each know and experience our interconnectedness, our Oneness. Once we know ourselves to be one part of the "Greater Whole", then I believe it is important to step back and look at and honor our individual gifts and beauty and uniqueness. 

   Our time on Earth is a time to know and experience ourselves as individuals who have come to express our individuality. If we could all see the special beauty that is in every face; if we could appreciate the unique and special sound of every human voice; if we could embrace, with wonder, the uniqueness of every human body, then each one of us could not only feel much more comfortable with who and what we are, each one of us could then proudly step forward to express our own magnificence and our own creativity -- in whatever way it wants to show itself. That will be different for every single human being, just as every snowflake shows itself differently. I believe if each one of us could be more fully who and what we really and truly are, then there would be peace and harmony and love on  Earth. If each one of us is totally embracing all parts and aspects of ourselves, we would automatically accept and embrace all aspects of "the other".

   I hope this is not sounding "too preachy" but allowing ourselves full expression of who we really are deep inside is something I feel very passionate about. Our culture and our institutions have  put way too many restrictions and expectations on how we "should" think and be and experience and even what our bodies should look like. Many of us grew up, or are still growing up, struggling to fit into society's norms. That struggle to fit into an image or way of living that isn't authentic to our individual nature is Soul Destroying. It completely blocks the Creative Spirit and turns life into a struggle for survival. There is no joy or purpose in that kind of living.

   This is a "very hot" topic for me right now because I recently had a healing session that brought me back to myself as a young teenage girl when I struggled so hard to fit into the image of what a pretty, popular teenage girl was "supposed" to look like. Of course I failed miserably to "measure up". Those kinds of unfair, unrealistic, unhealthy expectations end up destroying one's confidence -- often for a lifetime (and maybe longer!). And that meant, as a young teenager, when life should be full of new discoveries and explorations of one's talents and dreams, I had no opportunity to discover and develop the gifts that I did have. All I could discover, in that kind of atmosphere of unrealistic expectations, was what I was lacking.

   The good news here is that it is never too late to reconnect with any part of ourselves from any past age and we always have the opportunity to explore and develop our gifts and talents. They (the gifts and talents) don't go away. They wait patiently until we are ready to go back and embrace them.

   When we can each find the courage to move out of "the box" that society or various institutions have tried to lock us into, then we can take that next step to celebrating all that we are. When we can know our "imperfections" to be perfection; when we can embrace our emotional "woundedness" as our creative inspiration; when we know for certain that nothing is "wrong" with us because we think or react differently than someone else; when we can know and see our own special uniqueness as the gift that we can here to free and express, then we know our purpose on this planet. That's what I think!



Done July 17, 2007 as I was just beginning
to recover my eyesight



   I'll just add one more thing -- I really believe that those longings, those cravings, those desires that we feel deep in our Hearts and Souls are simply the Creative Spirit's way of trying to get our attention so that we will express and create in the way that we, each, individually, came here to do. The Creative Spirit wants to flow and create throughout this World. The Creative Spirit is (to me) like the umbilical cord that connects us with our Source, our Creator. As we allow this Creative Spirit to flow through us, it will connect us to the Source of all Creation, and then just think how much more Creative Energy we can tap into!! In other words, cravings and desires are good. Let's pay attention to them.

   I could carry on about this for some time, but for now, I'll say Adios. To be continued...

  May we all liberate the Creative Force that is trying so hard to wake up through each of us.

   Barbara 

PS The very "unique beings" you see here throughout this blog are images that came to me during various stages of the healing process of my eyesight.

Shamanic Images and Creating a Container of Safety and Love

   I said I would begin to share some of my Shamanic drawings. Last blog you met my very powerful Medicine Woman Friend. This one is my Shaman/Magician/Clown friend. He brings with him a lot of magic.
    I was thinking about how I differentiate between my "Alien Friends" who have appeared in previous blogs and my "Shamanic Friends" who suddenly are demanding my attention. There is no rational answer. It is just a gut feeling. When I draw these images, I seldom begin a drawing with any intention of what I want to draw. I simply tune in to what colours, what lines and shapes, what combinations may want to happen and out come these wonderful beings. Once the drawing is done, then I just know if it is Alien, Shamanic, Spirit Guide or sometimes it is simply a reflection of part of me. Each has a distinctly different feeling to me.

This drawing to the immediate right is a beloved Shaman and Spirit Guide who has been with me since 1999. His name is Yaconi. He came to me while I was living in Mexico although this drawing or depiction of him didn't come out until May 21, 2007. I remember that date very specifically because it came to me the day before I received some shattering news. He knew I needed his presence. This was the first drawing I did that came from lines and angles. The symmetry I see in it amazes me even now because this one emerged during the time that I was legally blind. I could hardly see the lines I was drawing or the colours I was using and yet, somehow,  through it all, he emerged! After this drawing, I actually began craving geometric shapes and forms.  At that point I sent someone out to buy me a geometry set and as you can see from previous drawings, geometric shapes seem to be my Art Form now. Prior to that all of my drawings were much more flowing and round and free form. Now I love to see what comes out when I start playing with angles and lines. Drawing this way has a more solid and grounded feel to it. It feels to me like the energy is being contained in a very powerful way, as opposed to just hanging out there in an undefined way, somewhere in space.

There is a strikingly similar feel in the vocal work I am doing now. I used to do more free form vocalizing and sounding -- just allowing the sound to flow. That can be wonderful and freeing, just like drawing freely without boundaries. But there is something about creating a "container" that, for me, brings the energies (be they vocal or artistic) together in a much more powerful and grounded way. In my Artwork, the container is the geometric form itself. Everything is contained within a framework of lines and angles. In my vocal work, the technique, Speech Level Singing, is the container or the framework for the voice. The constant repetition of scales and vowels creates a solid and safe pathway for the voice to travel through. One constant focus in this vocal technique is on strengthening the vocal chords and using them in ways that are healthy and safe.  Simply sounding and vocalizing freely, while it could feel wonderful and exciting in the moment, and could at times, take me into expanded levels of consciousness, it could also, at times, leave my throat feeling scratchy the next day. And sometimes my jaw would feel even tighter and more clenched the day after I had been "way out there" with my voice. I think  my psyche just wasn't ready to move so quickly into that level of feeling "way out there". So I could end up feeling quite ungrounded and sometimes I would react by feeling more closed down afterwards and by feeling my voice retreat somewhere deep inside of me.

I find it really important, in my own personal journey, to move step by step. Whenever I just "leap in" to something  (as I have tended to do in the past), especially something that is consciousness expanding, I tend to just as rapidly "leap" back out, often in a more closed down state.

Just as any houseplant needs a good, solid container filled with nourishing soil in order to thrive and bloom, I believe it is equally important for us to create a solid container for our own journey and spiritual awakening (and "vocal awakening" in my case!).

Many of us come from a culture that values instant gratification. I've never seen the way of instant gratification work on the spiritual journey. We can't just "move into the light" and expect to stay there without first embracing our "so called" darkness or woundedness and creating a container of safety and love for our physical and emotional selves. We can't just "push" our voices out there to sing and sound if the surrounding nerves and muscles are not ready to handle that. The voice needs a solid container to move through. Even my Artwork now does not want to be just "hanging in space", dispersing its energy. It wants the container of lines and angles to support and contain it.  

This blog was going to be more about my Shamanic experiences, but this idea of "creating a safe and loving container" for whatever we are learning or experiencing seemed to be more urgent at this point. I'd love to hear any responses or thoughts about this idea.

I wish you all many blessings for your current journey and challenges. May your container be filled with love and acceptance and lots of joy!

Barbara