May ALL Voices Be Free to Sing and Express

*** Because Shamanic Journeying may not be familiar to all who read this, I will explain more about my experience with it in my next blog or you can read more about it on Jeannette McCullough's website (see below).

***In previous blogs I have posted some of my drawings of my Alien Friends. This drawing is one of my very special Shaman Friends. I'll introduce you to more of my Shaman Friends in my next blog.

A Remarkable Vocal Healing

Last night, Thurs. Oct. 28, I attended our monthly Shamanic Journey Group led by Jeannette McCullough (http://www.shamansong.ca/). My journey experiences were a continuation of the work I had started on Sun. Oct. 24 at the "About Face" workshop. (See previous blog). It seems as though that 8 year old child in me still needed to be healed and listened to. I decided to allow the 8 year girl that I was to be in charge of my journey last night.

Just before we entered into the journey I asked for a healing for that 8 year old part of myself. I asked for healing of the trauma that had shut down her voice and I requested direct healing of her voice.

As the drumming started, signalling the beginning of the journey, I saw my 8 year old self climbing to the top of her very favorite tree. It was a huge gorgeous willow tree that I used to climb as a child. From the top of the tree, my Hawk friend picked me up and, with me on her back, she flew me to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. From there, my Purple Dragon Friend picked me up and flew me to my beloved Space Station where I go most of the time when I take these Shamanic journeys. Transporting me to this Space Station requires real teamwork!! However I can also just close my eyes in meditation and be there. Or I sometimes do travel there in my nighttime dreams. But the journey with Hawk and Dragon is half the fun of going there too. I love to fly on the backs of these powerful allies of mine.

When I reached the Space Station, I was greeted by my Beloved Guide, Sweet Wisdom (my drawing of her appears in a few of my past blogs.As she took me inside, I was surprised to see both of my parents there, along with my grade 3 music teacher. There was also a grand piano and my current vocal teacher, along with his voice teacher, were also there. I started doing my vocal exercises with my current teacher and as I did that, I felt the support of my  parents and my grade 3 teacher in a really nice way, but somehow it just didn't feel like enough.

   Then Sweet Wisdom made a cushy little bed for me right on the piano bench. As I lay down on it, (remember I'm only 8 years old in this journey, so I fit quite nicely on that bench) my parents and grade 3 teacher started grooving to the drumbeat and dancing around me. Then my Dad (who had always been a very quiet man in real life-- the youngest of 13 children and son of a pretty dominant mother, so he likely had no voice in his growing up years) started making some beautiful low, growly, guttural sounds with his voice. As he began to explore these sounds, I saw his face light up. He really started to come alive and enjoy himself.

My mother also began to make a variety of sounds with her voice. (In "real" life my mother never sang. In fact she often said to me, "You're just like me. You can't hold a tune." My mother was orphaned at 11 years old and had no say, no voice, in her upbringing.) Then she just stopped at the foot of my bench and began to sing, full out, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Her whole face and body came alive as she did that. She was totally transformed into a beautiful, confident, vibrant woman in that moment.

To see both of my parents looking happy and joyful and to hear the beauty of those voices really did something to my heart and soul. In listening to them I felt my own voice finding its freedom. I didn't have to do a thing or make a sound. All I had to do, and all I wanted to do, was listen to the voices of my parents as they sang and sounded. For the first time ever, I was truly hearing the sounds of my parents voices. And I was being filled with the joy and the fun and the happiness that was pouring out of both of them.

What I really came to understand in that moment was that my parents and my teacher didn't deliberately set out to shut down my voice. They weren't against me expressing myself, even if that is what it felt like to me at that time. But in "real life" they had no voice. They weren't allowed to express. So how could they give me what they didn't have? Simple. They couldn't. None of us can give what we don't have.

Allowing them to find their voices and express themselves so fully (as they did in my Shamanic journey) allows my voice to be free.

I really believe that in healing and freeing ourselves, as we can do in these kinds of journeys, we also heal and free those who came before us. Perhaps by healing ourselves, we can actually influence past generations. If our parents had no voice or means of expression, it is probably because their parents were cut off from expression and so on .. back through generations. I believe that we can be influential in healing those in spirit (as my parents, grandparents etc. are). 

Last night felt like a huge vocal healing not only for me, but also for my parents and I did feel that healing energy travelling back through many previous generations.

I am very grateful to this group and to all groups like this that allow people to explore their inner worlds in a way that is safe, comfortable, supportive and accepting.

Thank you Jeannette, for offering this to us and thank you to all who are openly and courageously embarking on this journey of healing and conscious awareness.

May we all be free to express the beauty and love that is in our Hearts.

Barbara