On Thurs. Feb. 24, several of us gathered for our monthly Shamanic Journey Circle facilitated by Jeannette McCullough (see past blogs for previous Shamanic Journey adventures).
On our first of two journeys that evening, Jeannette introduced the idea of working with our Shadow Self and we began with a lovely poem from Rumi suggesting that we allow all aspects of ourselves, all emotions etc. to be welcomed "home" as an honoured guest. The question that Jeannette offered to us to use in our journey (if we wished) was "What, that could be helpful to me, am I denying access to my house?"
Prior tot this particular journey, my impression of the Shadow part of myself was that it was the place where anger, grief, pain, guilt, depression etc. were stored. I thought of the Shadow as a place where I would hide away all of those "so called" negative emotions.
Imagine my surprise when my Shadow revealed itself as the place where I was hiding away the sensual, sexual, beautiful, joyful aspects of myself!!
And it is true! I am actually very good at accepting and welcoming in the pain, the guilt, the depression etc. I willingly work with these aspects of myself through therapy, writing, dialoguing and different forms of cathartic release. But to welcome in beauty and joy and sensuality and sexuality as being at least an equally important part of me? That was a big shift in thinking for me. And here is how it played itself out in my Journey:
JOURNEY NUMBER ONE
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| Sweet Wisdom |
As the drumbeat began, signalling the beginning of our journey, I saw myself climbing to the top of a huge willow tree -- a very special and sacred tree from my childhood . There I awaited the arrival of my Purple Dragon friend who would transport me to the Upper World (or the Space Station, as I know it) where my friends, particularly my beautiful Spirit Guide, Sweet Wisdom, would be waiting for me. I arrived and walked into the front door to be greeted not only by Sweet Wisdom, but also by a huge troupe of exquisitely beautiful belly dancers. The sheer joy and pleasure and sensuality that exuded from these dancers was awesome to behold. They quickly drew me in, dressed me in the same kind of sexy flowing outfit that they were wearing and put me right in the middle of the dance. I joined in easily, the dance and the sensuality and the joy flowing right through me. As I experienced the sheer pleasure of the movement and felt myself smiling happily, I realized that this is the part of me that I haven't been allowing to come "home", that I haven't welcomed in to my house. Here was my shadow expressing itself in this gorgeous dance, filling and surrounding me in beauty and sensuality like I have never experienced before. I experienced a feeling of contented happiness that I have never known before.
In the midst of this extreme pleasure, something was "niggling" at me. I stopped and said to Sweet Wisdom, "This is so much fun and feels so good, I just want to stay in this energy. But, here we all are, having an absolutely wonderful time dancing these incredible Middle Eastern dances, while in reality, there is so much turmoil and suffering and chaos in the Middle East. Shouldn't I be doing something to help? How can I just dance and have a wonderful time while there is so much need in the world? I can't just turn my back on the people."
Sweet Wisdom offered me one of her beautiful, compassionate smiles as she said,"It is the vibration of beauty and joy and sensuality that will bring healing to the people and to the World." As proof, she transported all of us to the Middle East where we continued our dance of beauty and joy and pleasure. As we danced, I saw the people being showered with the vibration of love and joy. The energy being stirred up by our dance looked like little rose quartz crystals and they were filling the whole area with love.
We arrived back at the Space Station just as Jeannette's drumbeat changed to signal that it was time to return to Earth. My purple dragon friend was waiting and I climbed on his back knowing he would take me back to the treetop where my journey began. Well -another surprise. I didn't land on the treetop. I found myself "dropped" with a bit of a jolt, right in the middle of the Arabesque Belly Dance School here in Toronto. This is a school that I have gone to on and off (more off than on, I'm afraid!!). As I sat there in the middle of the floor where I had landed, I realized that it truly is time to allow the beauty and the sensuality that belly dance represents to me, to come "home", to express itself through me in whatever form it wants.
I have come to the conclusion that every time any one of us dances or sings or expresses joy in any form, whether we are alone or with others, we are showering blessings on the Whole World.
Love and Blessings to all,
Barbara
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