Do We Really "Create Our Own Reality"?

Hi! It has been awhile!

My own journey has been quite consuming for the past while. One of the things that I am really exploring and questioning recently is this topic of "Personal Responsibility" and "Creating Our Own Reality".

Like many others I'm sure, I have, in the past, really "worked" with affirmations, trying to think positively, trying to re-create, through affirmations, those parts of my life that didn't seem to be working well, trying to improve certain health related situations. I was doing everything I knew how to do in order to "create a better reality" for myself. And it didn't work!! At least not in the way that I thought it would! In some ways, things seemed to keep getting worse. So, was I doing something "wrong"? Was I not believing or trusting enough? All of my very sincere efforts left me feeling inadequate, blaming myself for not being able to create the kind of prosperous abundant life that many books and teachers are talking about.

Two things really brought this to the surface for me.

One is that I am presently involved in a Church that has "personal responsibility" as one of its principles and recently one guest speaker stood in front of us and said, point blank, "You can create your life in any way that you want it to be." That statement really got my "back up"!

The second thing that has been happening is that I have been going through ongoing challenges with my eyes and my sight. In 2002 I lost the sight in my Right Eye. By 2007 I had lost the sight in my Left Eye. After a series of surgeries (5 in total) and various complications, I recovered, and relost my sight a number of times. Presently, since a recent surgery in April this year, I have, once again, recovered a good amount of sight. During ALL of that time, including the present time, I have done (and am still doing) everything in my power to heal my eyes. I have done everything I know how to do (diet, supplements, therapy, endless appointments with healers, self healing, workshops, affirmation after affirmation.....) and even with all of this, sometimes I can see and sometimes I can't. Sometimes I can see well and sometimes my sight is distorted and foggy. It is constantly changing.

This is my present journey. So now I am really examining this idea of personal responsibility and creating my own reality. What does that really mean?

And I have no answers for anybody! I am only exploring. But maybe my only responsibility, at this point, is to surrender to the journey. Surrender to the mystery. Because it is a mystery. And when I think of it this way, it is a delightful, exciting journey and mystery. When I look back at my "Visual Journey" thus far, and I see the true richness that it has brought into my life, would I now want to change or re-create a moment of it? Not a chance! The only thing I might change a little, is the trying too hard to heal my eyes in the way that I thought they should heal!

The Journey itself has been tremendous. In those moments when I can, and do, let go into the mystery of it all, immense creative energy and potential starts to pour through me. At one point, a few years ago, my physical eyesight was 20/460. That is not much sight. And during that period of time, some of the richest and most incredible Artwork started to emerge. I have never really done any Art, certainly have never taken any lessons. But in that period of not seeing much physically, I craved colour and shapes. I started to play with this even though I could barely see what I was doing. Amazing beings began to emerge on my paper. Incredible angles and shapes and unexplainable symmetry (remember, I could hardly see what I was doing!) began to appear. From those beginnings, a whole community of what I now call my "Alien Friends" has emerged as drawings, mostly done during those visually darkest times. When I was unable to be engaged visually with the outside world, my inner world just opened up and blossomed. Artwork came through. Stories and dreams emerged. Insights and inner visions took root. What could be richer? Maybe this is the prosperity I have been praying for. Every day I am surrounded by these remarkable beings (they cover my walls) who, because I was willing, on some level, to lose my external sight for a period of time, have been able to come into this physical reality.

These "Alien Friends" of mine do want to start being part of this blog so stay tuned. You will meet some very delightful, wonderful, enlightened beings.

Back to this exploration of personal responsibility and creating my own reality. Would I have really created blindness for myself? And yet, it has been that journey into blindness that has opened amazing and magical doors for me. That journey took me into a reality I likely could never have opened up to otherwise.

Maybe a better word would be "CO-CREATE". Perhaps our responsibility is to tune in to the Divine Intelligence that created us and to co-create with that Intelligence. Perhaps our responsibility is to tune in with Mother Earth and co-create in harmony with Her Intelligence. Perhaps our responsibility is to tune in to the Higher Intelligence of all Humanity and co-create in harmony with the greater good of all. Perhaps our responsibility to allow the deepest desires and passions of our Soul to reveal themselves in a way that we can act upon them.

The one thing that I do know for sure now is that I am not acting in isolation. I am but one spark of the Divine Flame. As I tune in and align myself more fully with the Divine Flame, my life will become the Creation that it is meant to be. That might be the life that my ego craves. And it might not be. Either way, my life is perfect and beautiful.

On that lovely note, I'll end for now. But I will soon be back, accompanied by some special friends!

Wishing you all many beautiful and magical creations!

Barbara