Move, Vocalize and Sing!!

The Human Voice is an incredible gift, capable of calming, soothing, comforting, healing, energizing, encouraging, motivating etc. Through our Voice, we touch others in so many ways -- probably in many ways that we are not even aware of.

The Throat Chakra is called "Vishuddha" in Sanskrit which means Purification. Vocal catharsis or vocal release can cleanse, heal and purify.

The Voice is also an amazing instrument capable of creating beautiful, powerful sounds and songs.

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In light of my upcoming Sing a Long on Fri. June 3, at 7:15 pm (for more info, e-mail me @ barbarassong@gmail.com ) I am inspired to share a little more of my vocal adventure and to explore the focus of this upcoming Sing a Long.  My hope is to create a Sing a Long that is easy and comfortable and enjoyable for all and that also helps us care for and appreciate our voices. I'm happy to hear if you have any comments or suggestions or insights for future Sing a Longs.

Also see the previous blog for My Journey into Speech Level Singing.
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If you have read my previous blog then you already know some of my reasons for loving this technique called Speech Level Singing. Now I'll share some more! And just know that I share my experiences and current knowledge as an avid student of Speech Level Singing. For more "expert information", check with one of the many very qualified teachers of this method. See link to the left of this blog.

Developing My Chest Voice

I really love that SLS (Speech Level Singing) focuses on developing and expanding the entire range of the Voice. When I first started singing lessons, before I found SLS, the teacher immediately classified my voice as Soprano because I could only sing in my head voice. I couldn't dip down into any low notes  or into my Chest Voice at all. The teacher's suggestion was that I should sing soprano in a Church Choir. However I wanted to sing Pop and Country Songs -- many of which are, at least partially, in Chest Voice. In most Pop and Country songs, and in Rhythm and Blues (my current passion!) one has to be able to move smoothly between Chest Voice and Head Voice. That was a problem since, at that point, I had no Chest Voice or at least no connection to that Voice.

The exciting news is that since I have been working with a Speech Level Singing Teacher,  I now have a very developed low range, or Chest Voice. Now I can sing an entire song in this deep low range and this (Chest Voice) is a Voice I didn't even have before I started Speech Level Singing! Personally I think that is pretty remarkable. And now that I am connected with my Chest Voice, or the Root of my Voice, my over all Voice is much stronger. My Voice doesn't crack in the way that it used to. I used to frequently get that "frog in my throat" feeling and often had to constantly clear my throat just to carry on a conversation. That is at least 90% better now that my Voice is coming from a deeper place inside of me. And I feel generally more grounded. Oh yes-- and I can now do lectures and facilitate workshops that involve a lot of speaking, usually without the aid of a microphone, without any vocal strain at all. Couldn't do that prior to SLS training!
My challenge now is in learning how to transition smoothly between my Chest Voice and Head Voice and that is one of the main focuses of my current SLS training.

So with all that in mind, it feels really important to me to offer a Sing a Long which begins with a warm up to connect us more deeply to our Chest Voice. And I like the idea of "exploring" our lower range with various sounds and sounding exercises, as opposed to trying to push the voice into something it may not be ready for.  So the warm up is really just an opportunity for the Voice to play and explore. And it is a chance for us to  learn how to pay more attention to our Voices and to explore what might feel good and supportive to them.

To continue with that theme of connecting more deeply with the Root of the Voice, many of the Songs that I choose for this Sing a Long are centered a lot in the Chest Voice.

Movement and Singing

Chakra Dancer Meets Speech Level Singer!

I love Free form or Improve Dance, Yoga, Pilates, Feldenkrais -- or any physical movement that takes me into a deeper place in my body. I've been practicing Yoga most of my life; I spent many years developing and teaching The Dance of the Chakras. To me, sounding or vocalizing are also very internal, physical experiences. I love to explore how sound can lead to movement and how movement can lead to sound and how they can blend together. I love that feeling of sound travelling through the body. It is very exciting and powerful to me when I can actually feel the vibration of my voice in my Root Chakra or in my Sacral Chakra or in my Solar Plexus. I can feel the vocal vibration pretty readily in the higher Chakras -- it is fairly easy to feel in the Heart, Throat, and Head (Third Eye and Crown). To feel that vocal vibration consistently in those lower Earthy Chakras is definitely something I aspire to!!

I love to watch singers who seem to be as fluid and at ease in their bodies as they are in their voices. I am still pretty awed by Michael Jackson's videos -- how he combined very complex songs with very complex dance moves and how the movement and the voice just flowed together as one, or moved one into the other.

At the very least, I believe that it is easier and healthier for the Voice to move through a fluid, energized body.  For this reason my Sing a Long warm up does start with some gentle flowing movement to free and energize the body first. 

Do feel free to leave any thoughts, comments or vocal insights or stories that you may want to share. I love hearing other people's vocal stories!

In the meantime -- Sing, Dance, Love Your Voice, Love Your Body!!

Barbara

My Journey into Speech Level Singing

This blog is dedicated to the Absolute Joy of Singing!

 And it is dedicated to the hope that we can all, in some way, touch that joy of singing, of vocalizing, of experiencing a voice that is free to play and express.

For me, that hope is becoming a reality. It is this beautiful, rich technique called Speech Level Singing that is taking me, one gentle but powerful step at a time, towards my hope and dream of allowing my voice to play and express through song.

My Vocal Story
I want to share a little more of my own personal vocal story. A number of my blog entries have been "vocally inspired" -- that is to say many have references to Vocal Healings, Vocal Power, Sounding, Singing, etc. And I really feel the need right now to "sing the praises" of Speech Level Singing. I have been working with this technique and with a very skilled teacher of this technique (http://www.3rdvoice.com/) for the past two years and every now and then I seem to drop into a deeper level of experiencing and understanding the real essence and power of this method. My previous vocal repression was extreme and I've explored many ways and methods of overcoming that repression. Speech Level Singing is the one thing that has worked for me in a way that is lasting and solid. For me, it has been, and continues to be, a very safe step by step process that is building a powerful foundation for my voice. And I know that vocal foundation that I (with a lot of help from my teacher) am building is offering me much greater vocal confidence and ability for vocalizing in various ways and for singing the songs that mean so much to me.

Up until I was well into my 57th year on this planet, I never sang. Well, maybe I sang a little bit -- when I was alone and certain that no one would hear me! And I have a feeling that there may be others who have been, or maybe still are, travelling in this "non singing" boat. I firmly believe now that it is not right and it is not natural to live without singing.

A few years prior to age 57, I did attend various vocal workshops -- mainly based on Sounding (allowing the voice to flow freely from one's depths) and in rare moments, my voice would burst out in big loud sounds -- only to close down even more afterwards. Often, my throat would literally constrict, for no apparent reason, leaving me with a choking sensation at its worst or with a continual feeling of frogginess and need to constantly clear my throat (by the way, constant throat clearing is not good for the vocal cords).

Finally, one evening I found myself in a small group of people -- it was a cricle that generally used writing as the Creative and Transformative tool that it can be. I was really comfortable with writing and so I was generally pretty comfortable in this group. Imagine my dismay and distress when, instead of our usual writing exercises, a decision was made to share songs. Not only could I not open my mouth to share a song, I could not even open my mouth to join in the songs that were being shared. There were some excellent singers in the group -- which only served to make me feel totally inadequate and miserable.

That was the vocal turning point for me.

Within a week and a half after that group I found myself standing in front of a microphone in the small studio space of a teacher who taught Karaoke type singing. Remarkably, he did get me singing by the third lesson. My very first song was Love Me Tender. That was a hugely exciting moment for me. I still have the recording of myself singing my very first song and it still brings tears to my eyes to listen to it! A whole new world began to burst open for me. I was very excited to start really listening to some of my favorite songs and I started trying to sing those songs with my favorite singers (Anne Murray songs were high on my list in those days).
But frustration began to quickly set in. The harder I tried to sing those songs, the more my voice would "crack". My throat would start to close down and I would get that "froggy" need to continually clear my throat as I approached the Karaoke teacher's studio. En route to my lesson, I would pray to the Angels of Singing to help me open my throat enough to get through my lesson. That didn't always work.

Hooked On Singing

The good news was that by then, I was hooked on wanting to sing! By then I understood the need for a really good vocal technique and a teacher who could work with the kinds of vocal challenges I was facing. I went searching. This time the Angels of Singing were guiding me and I found Speech Level Singing. And I found  3rd voice studio. And I found Brandon Brophy-- a very skilled SLS teacher. I have to add here that not only is Brandon very skilled at teaching the method itself, he is (in my viewpoint) remarkably skilled at gently easing through  the "vocal baggage" that I suspect we all carry in one way or another. For me, part of that bagagge was that old fashioned notion that women's singing voices should sound "pretty". Speech Level Singing really emphasizes Chest Voice Developement and connection. It is the Chest Voice that creates the foundation for the voice and without a connection to the Chest Voice, the voice will never sound full or rich and from what I understand, singing without that important Chest Voice connection is damaging to the vocal cords.   To me, connecting with the depths of the Chest Voice is like connecting to the Roots of the Voice. When I first started SLS, I was not even speaking from my Chest voice. I was speaking, and trying to sing, from a disconnected head voice. With my voice having no connection to its roots, just rying to sing, or even trying to speak up, were literally straining my voice. Initially I kind of rebelled against some of the deep chest sounds that Brandon encouraged me to sing because they didn't sound "pretty". But I  came to realize that they (deep chest sounds) sounded pretty powerful and felt absolutely wonderful. And with every lesson, I started to feel more and more "grounded" or connected deep inside my body. It is a truly wonderful feeling when the voice can flow right from the depths of our being.

I could carry on about the Joys of Singing and in particular, the Joys of Speech Level Singing for a long time. It is a very special vocal journey I am taking with this technique and I am so grateful to all of the teachers who are bringing this method to us. 

"May we all sing our own special songs in our own special ways."

Got to go practice my scales now!

                              Barbara

Dance, Beauty and Joy will Heal the World

An Important Message from my Shadow Self

   On Thurs. Feb. 24, several of us gathered for our monthly Shamanic Journey Circle facilitated by Jeannette McCullough (see past blogs for previous Shamanic Journey adventures).

   On our first of two journeys that evening, Jeannette introduced the idea of working with our Shadow Self and we began with a lovely poem from Rumi suggesting that we allow all aspects of ourselves, all emotions etc. to be welcomed "home" as an honoured guest. The question that Jeannette offered to us to use in our journey (if we wished) was "What, that could be helpful to me, am I denying access to my house?"

   Prior tot this particular journey, my impression of the Shadow part of myself was that it was the place where anger, grief, pain, guilt, depression etc. were stored. I thought of the Shadow as a place where I would hide away all of those "so called" negative emotions. 

   Imagine my surprise when my Shadow revealed itself as the place where I was hiding away the sensual, sexual, beautiful, joyful aspects of myself!!

   And it is true! I am actually very good at accepting and welcoming in the pain, the guilt, the depression etc.  I willingly work with these aspects of myself through therapy, writing, dialoguing and different forms of cathartic release. But to welcome in beauty and joy and sensuality and sexuality as being at least an equally important part of me? That was a big shift in thinking for me. And here is how it played itself out in my Journey:

JOURNEY NUMBER ONE



Sweet Wisdom

   As the drumbeat began, signalling the beginning of our journey, I saw myself climbing to the top of a huge willow tree -- a very special and sacred tree from my childhood . There I awaited the arrival of my Purple Dragon friend who would transport me to the Upper World (or the Space Station, as I know it) where my friends, particularly my beautiful Spirit Guide, Sweet Wisdom, would be waiting for me. I arrived and walked into the front door to be greeted not only by Sweet Wisdom, but also by a huge troupe of exquisitely beautiful belly dancers. The sheer joy and pleasure and sensuality that exuded from these  dancers was awesome to behold. They quickly drew me in, dressed me in the same kind of sexy flowing outfit that they were wearing and put me right in the middle of the dance. I joined in easily, the dance and the sensuality and the joy  flowing right through me. As I experienced the sheer pleasure of the movement and felt myself smiling happily, I realized that this is the part of me that I haven't been allowing to come "home", that I haven't welcomed in to my house. Here was my shadow expressing itself in this gorgeous dance, filling and surrounding me in beauty and sensuality like I have never experienced before. I experienced a feeling of contented happiness that I have never known before.

   In the midst of this extreme pleasure, something was "niggling" at me. I stopped and said to Sweet Wisdom, "This is so much fun and feels so good, I just want to stay in this energy. But, here we all are, having an absolutely wonderful time dancing these incredible Middle Eastern dances, while in reality, there is so much turmoil and suffering and chaos in the Middle East. Shouldn't I be doing something to help? How can I just dance and have a wonderful time while there is so much need in the world? I can't just turn my back on the people."

   Sweet Wisdom offered me one of her beautiful, compassionate smiles as she said,"It is the vibration of beauty and joy and sensuality that will bring healing to the people and to the World."

   As proof, she transported all of us to the Middle East where we continued our dance of beauty and joy and pleasure. As we danced, I saw the people being showered with the vibration of love and joy. The energy being stirred up by our dance looked like little rose quartz crystals and they were filling the whole area with love.

   We arrived back at the Space Station just as Jeannette's drumbeat changed to signal that it was time to return to Earth. My purple dragon friend was waiting and I climbed on his back knowing he would take me back to the treetop where my journey began. Well -another surprise. I didn't land on the treetop. I found myself "dropped" with a bit of a jolt, right in the middle of the Arabesque Belly Dance School here in Toronto. This is a school that I have gone to on and off (more off than on, I'm afraid!!). As I sat there in the middle of the floor where I had landed, I realized that it truly is time to allow the beauty and the sensuality that belly dance represents to me, to come "home", to express itself through me in whatever form it wants.

   I have come to the conclusion that every time any one of us dances or sings or expresses joy in any form, whether we are alone or with others, we are showering blessings on the Whole World.

   Love and Blessings to all,

                      Barbara 

  

  

Becoming "Wildly Wise"

Greetings to All You Creative Souls Out There!

    As some of you know, I am an avid fan of Rob Brezsny's form of astrology http://www.freewillastrology.com/

   I've been following Rob's weekly astrology column for probably some twenty years by now. Every week, those few lines of astrological wisdom that he offers me as a Capricorn impact my life and consciousness in some way. From my perspective, I think Rob is pretty much at the top of my list of "Wildly Wise" people that I know (although I don't know him personally).

   This concept of being "Wildly Wise" was not even my horoscope this week! It was the horoscope of a Gemini friend of mine but I was so taken by this idea of being Wildly Wise that it has got me redefining what "Wise" really means to me. Previously I think my "Wise Side" and my "Wild Side" felt somewhat at odds. Unfortunately, in my pursuit of wisdom, it was my Wild Side that got squashed.

   The final line in Gemini's horoscope for this week was "Study the wisest wildest people you know so that you too can be wildly wise." That line really got me thinking about some of the wisest wildest people I know and I realized that I do personally know a few people who fit that description. Previously I might have thought of these particular people as unpredictable, maybe even unreliable -- especially since I don't do, or handle, unpredictability or even spontaneity very well!! However, thanks to Rob's magic horoscopes, I now see and understand the beautiful balance and freedom that comes from being "Wildly Wise". In thinking about the "Wildly Wise" people in my life, I do know that they are the most Creatively Adventurous Beings that I know. And their form of wisdom is incredibly unique and exciting. So I am convinced. Wise and Wild belong together. Absolutely.

   What do you think? I'd love to hear your reflections on this one.

   In ending, I will allow my Devil Woman Friend to come out and inspire us.

   By the way, if you are into Tarot cards, the Voyager Deck has a beautiful Devil card -- it appears to be all about letting loose and celebrating. So maybe it is good to let the devil in us come out and play!

 Barbara

PS If you have been hearing the rumours that our astrological signs are "all wrong", check out Rob's website for the truth about that misinformation.

Celebrating Our Uniqueness

   Last Sunday, Dec. 12, 2010, I offered a lecture at Britten Memorial Church on "Awakening the Creative Spirit".





   What really came to me during that lecture and on reflection afterwards was how incredibly beautiful and unique every single human being is. Every one of us (regardless of race, gender, etc.) looks different, speaks differently, moves differently, thinks and sees the world differently, dreams differently, experiences differently. Many of us are frequently wondering,  questioning, exploring, trying to figure out what our true life purpose is.  Maybe all we really have to do is to fully embrace and express and celebrate our own uniqueness.

   Just as every snowflake that ever falls to Earth is different from every other snowflake that falls to Earth, so it is with human beings. All the individual snowflake does, on its journey to earth, is to express its incredible, unique beauty and then it unites with all of the other millions and billions of equally unique and beautiful snowflakes to cover the earth in  their (united) glistening white magnificence. A fresh snowfall can create a picture of beauty and harmony and peacefulness over the land that it covers. There is nothing quite like seeing the barren December trees covered by a coating of fresh white snow. All of those individual snowflakes originate from the same source. They come to Earth floating, sometimes gently, sometimes with an almost "vengeance" depending on the winds, as separate unique beings or creations.  Then they re-unite, as One, to cover the Earth. 

   Imagine if all of humanity could come to Earth expressing the full potential of each individual human being's unique beauty and  qualities, and then we (the individual human beings) could unite and cover the Earth in beauty and harmony and peace.

   Many of us who are on a Spiritual Journey or who are questing after Spiritual Awakenings, work very hard through meditation or other Spiritual Practices to feel and express our "Oneness" with Source, our "Oneness with all of life. And that is extremely important work -- to realize our connectedness with all that is. In order to fully develop compassion and love for all, we need to understand and feel that we are all from One Source (whatever our individual expression of the Source may be) and that what happens to one, affects all. In order to move past all of the ego trappings of fear and separation and greed and conflict, it is important that we each know and experience our interconnectedness, our Oneness. Once we know ourselves to be one part of the "Greater Whole", then I believe it is important to step back and look at and honor our individual gifts and beauty and uniqueness. 

   Our time on Earth is a time to know and experience ourselves as individuals who have come to express our individuality. If we could all see the special beauty that is in every face; if we could appreciate the unique and special sound of every human voice; if we could embrace, with wonder, the uniqueness of every human body, then each one of us could not only feel much more comfortable with who and what we are, each one of us could then proudly step forward to express our own magnificence and our own creativity -- in whatever way it wants to show itself. That will be different for every single human being, just as every snowflake shows itself differently. I believe if each one of us could be more fully who and what we really and truly are, then there would be peace and harmony and love on  Earth. If each one of us is totally embracing all parts and aspects of ourselves, we would automatically accept and embrace all aspects of "the other".

   I hope this is not sounding "too preachy" but allowing ourselves full expression of who we really are deep inside is something I feel very passionate about. Our culture and our institutions have  put way too many restrictions and expectations on how we "should" think and be and experience and even what our bodies should look like. Many of us grew up, or are still growing up, struggling to fit into society's norms. That struggle to fit into an image or way of living that isn't authentic to our individual nature is Soul Destroying. It completely blocks the Creative Spirit and turns life into a struggle for survival. There is no joy or purpose in that kind of living.

   This is a "very hot" topic for me right now because I recently had a healing session that brought me back to myself as a young teenage girl when I struggled so hard to fit into the image of what a pretty, popular teenage girl was "supposed" to look like. Of course I failed miserably to "measure up". Those kinds of unfair, unrealistic, unhealthy expectations end up destroying one's confidence -- often for a lifetime (and maybe longer!). And that meant, as a young teenager, when life should be full of new discoveries and explorations of one's talents and dreams, I had no opportunity to discover and develop the gifts that I did have. All I could discover, in that kind of atmosphere of unrealistic expectations, was what I was lacking.

   The good news here is that it is never too late to reconnect with any part of ourselves from any past age and we always have the opportunity to explore and develop our gifts and talents. They (the gifts and talents) don't go away. They wait patiently until we are ready to go back and embrace them.

   When we can each find the courage to move out of "the box" that society or various institutions have tried to lock us into, then we can take that next step to celebrating all that we are. When we can know our "imperfections" to be perfection; when we can embrace our emotional "woundedness" as our creative inspiration; when we know for certain that nothing is "wrong" with us because we think or react differently than someone else; when we can know and see our own special uniqueness as the gift that we can here to free and express, then we know our purpose on this planet. That's what I think!



Done July 17, 2007 as I was just beginning
to recover my eyesight



   I'll just add one more thing -- I really believe that those longings, those cravings, those desires that we feel deep in our Hearts and Souls are simply the Creative Spirit's way of trying to get our attention so that we will express and create in the way that we, each, individually, came here to do. The Creative Spirit wants to flow and create throughout this World. The Creative Spirit is (to me) like the umbilical cord that connects us with our Source, our Creator. As we allow this Creative Spirit to flow through us, it will connect us to the Source of all Creation, and then just think how much more Creative Energy we can tap into!! In other words, cravings and desires are good. Let's pay attention to them.

   I could carry on about this for some time, but for now, I'll say Adios. To be continued...

  May we all liberate the Creative Force that is trying so hard to wake up through each of us.

   Barbara 

PS The very "unique beings" you see here throughout this blog are images that came to me during various stages of the healing process of my eyesight.

Shamanic Images and Creating a Container of Safety and Love

   I said I would begin to share some of my Shamanic drawings. Last blog you met my very powerful Medicine Woman Friend. This one is my Shaman/Magician/Clown friend. He brings with him a lot of magic.
    I was thinking about how I differentiate between my "Alien Friends" who have appeared in previous blogs and my "Shamanic Friends" who suddenly are demanding my attention. There is no rational answer. It is just a gut feeling. When I draw these images, I seldom begin a drawing with any intention of what I want to draw. I simply tune in to what colours, what lines and shapes, what combinations may want to happen and out come these wonderful beings. Once the drawing is done, then I just know if it is Alien, Shamanic, Spirit Guide or sometimes it is simply a reflection of part of me. Each has a distinctly different feeling to me.

This drawing to the immediate right is a beloved Shaman and Spirit Guide who has been with me since 1999. His name is Yaconi. He came to me while I was living in Mexico although this drawing or depiction of him didn't come out until May 21, 2007. I remember that date very specifically because it came to me the day before I received some shattering news. He knew I needed his presence. This was the first drawing I did that came from lines and angles. The symmetry I see in it amazes me even now because this one emerged during the time that I was legally blind. I could hardly see the lines I was drawing or the colours I was using and yet, somehow,  through it all, he emerged! After this drawing, I actually began craving geometric shapes and forms.  At that point I sent someone out to buy me a geometry set and as you can see from previous drawings, geometric shapes seem to be my Art Form now. Prior to that all of my drawings were much more flowing and round and free form. Now I love to see what comes out when I start playing with angles and lines. Drawing this way has a more solid and grounded feel to it. It feels to me like the energy is being contained in a very powerful way, as opposed to just hanging out there in an undefined way, somewhere in space.

There is a strikingly similar feel in the vocal work I am doing now. I used to do more free form vocalizing and sounding -- just allowing the sound to flow. That can be wonderful and freeing, just like drawing freely without boundaries. But there is something about creating a "container" that, for me, brings the energies (be they vocal or artistic) together in a much more powerful and grounded way. In my Artwork, the container is the geometric form itself. Everything is contained within a framework of lines and angles. In my vocal work, the technique, Speech Level Singing, is the container or the framework for the voice. The constant repetition of scales and vowels creates a solid and safe pathway for the voice to travel through. One constant focus in this vocal technique is on strengthening the vocal chords and using them in ways that are healthy and safe.  Simply sounding and vocalizing freely, while it could feel wonderful and exciting in the moment, and could at times, take me into expanded levels of consciousness, it could also, at times, leave my throat feeling scratchy the next day. And sometimes my jaw would feel even tighter and more clenched the day after I had been "way out there" with my voice. I think  my psyche just wasn't ready to move so quickly into that level of feeling "way out there". So I could end up feeling quite ungrounded and sometimes I would react by feeling more closed down afterwards and by feeling my voice retreat somewhere deep inside of me.

I find it really important, in my own personal journey, to move step by step. Whenever I just "leap in" to something  (as I have tended to do in the past), especially something that is consciousness expanding, I tend to just as rapidly "leap" back out, often in a more closed down state.

Just as any houseplant needs a good, solid container filled with nourishing soil in order to thrive and bloom, I believe it is equally important for us to create a solid container for our own journey and spiritual awakening (and "vocal awakening" in my case!).

Many of us come from a culture that values instant gratification. I've never seen the way of instant gratification work on the spiritual journey. We can't just "move into the light" and expect to stay there without first embracing our "so called" darkness or woundedness and creating a container of safety and love for our physical and emotional selves. We can't just "push" our voices out there to sing and sound if the surrounding nerves and muscles are not ready to handle that. The voice needs a solid container to move through. Even my Artwork now does not want to be just "hanging in space", dispersing its energy. It wants the container of lines and angles to support and contain it.  

This blog was going to be more about my Shamanic experiences, but this idea of "creating a safe and loving container" for whatever we are learning or experiencing seemed to be more urgent at this point. I'd love to hear any responses or thoughts about this idea.

I wish you all many blessings for your current journey and challenges. May your container be filled with love and acceptance and lots of joy!

Barbara

May ALL Voices Be Free to Sing and Express

*** Because Shamanic Journeying may not be familiar to all who read this, I will explain more about my experience with it in my next blog or you can read more about it on Jeannette McCullough's website (see below).

***In previous blogs I have posted some of my drawings of my Alien Friends. This drawing is one of my very special Shaman Friends. I'll introduce you to more of my Shaman Friends in my next blog.

A Remarkable Vocal Healing

Last night, Thurs. Oct. 28, I attended our monthly Shamanic Journey Group led by Jeannette McCullough (http://www.shamansong.ca/). My journey experiences were a continuation of the work I had started on Sun. Oct. 24 at the "About Face" workshop. (See previous blog). It seems as though that 8 year old child in me still needed to be healed and listened to. I decided to allow the 8 year girl that I was to be in charge of my journey last night.

Just before we entered into the journey I asked for a healing for that 8 year old part of myself. I asked for healing of the trauma that had shut down her voice and I requested direct healing of her voice.

As the drumming started, signalling the beginning of the journey, I saw my 8 year old self climbing to the top of her very favorite tree. It was a huge gorgeous willow tree that I used to climb as a child. From the top of the tree, my Hawk friend picked me up and, with me on her back, she flew me to the edge of Earth's atmosphere. From there, my Purple Dragon Friend picked me up and flew me to my beloved Space Station where I go most of the time when I take these Shamanic journeys. Transporting me to this Space Station requires real teamwork!! However I can also just close my eyes in meditation and be there. Or I sometimes do travel there in my nighttime dreams. But the journey with Hawk and Dragon is half the fun of going there too. I love to fly on the backs of these powerful allies of mine.

When I reached the Space Station, I was greeted by my Beloved Guide, Sweet Wisdom (my drawing of her appears in a few of my past blogs.As she took me inside, I was surprised to see both of my parents there, along with my grade 3 music teacher. There was also a grand piano and my current vocal teacher, along with his voice teacher, were also there. I started doing my vocal exercises with my current teacher and as I did that, I felt the support of my  parents and my grade 3 teacher in a really nice way, but somehow it just didn't feel like enough.

   Then Sweet Wisdom made a cushy little bed for me right on the piano bench. As I lay down on it, (remember I'm only 8 years old in this journey, so I fit quite nicely on that bench) my parents and grade 3 teacher started grooving to the drumbeat and dancing around me. Then my Dad (who had always been a very quiet man in real life-- the youngest of 13 children and son of a pretty dominant mother, so he likely had no voice in his growing up years) started making some beautiful low, growly, guttural sounds with his voice. As he began to explore these sounds, I saw his face light up. He really started to come alive and enjoy himself.

My mother also began to make a variety of sounds with her voice. (In "real" life my mother never sang. In fact she often said to me, "You're just like me. You can't hold a tune." My mother was orphaned at 11 years old and had no say, no voice, in her upbringing.) Then she just stopped at the foot of my bench and began to sing, full out, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Her whole face and body came alive as she did that. She was totally transformed into a beautiful, confident, vibrant woman in that moment.

To see both of my parents looking happy and joyful and to hear the beauty of those voices really did something to my heart and soul. In listening to them I felt my own voice finding its freedom. I didn't have to do a thing or make a sound. All I had to do, and all I wanted to do, was listen to the voices of my parents as they sang and sounded. For the first time ever, I was truly hearing the sounds of my parents voices. And I was being filled with the joy and the fun and the happiness that was pouring out of both of them.

What I really came to understand in that moment was that my parents and my teacher didn't deliberately set out to shut down my voice. They weren't against me expressing myself, even if that is what it felt like to me at that time. But in "real life" they had no voice. They weren't allowed to express. So how could they give me what they didn't have? Simple. They couldn't. None of us can give what we don't have.

Allowing them to find their voices and express themselves so fully (as they did in my Shamanic journey) allows my voice to be free.

I really believe that in healing and freeing ourselves, as we can do in these kinds of journeys, we also heal and free those who came before us. Perhaps by healing ourselves, we can actually influence past generations. If our parents had no voice or means of expression, it is probably because their parents were cut off from expression and so on .. back through generations. I believe that we can be influential in healing those in spirit (as my parents, grandparents etc. are). 

Last night felt like a huge vocal healing not only for me, but also for my parents and I did feel that healing energy travelling back through many previous generations.

I am very grateful to this group and to all groups like this that allow people to explore their inner worlds in a way that is safe, comfortable, supportive and accepting.

Thank you Jeannette, for offering this to us and thank you to all who are openly and courageously embarking on this journey of healing and conscious awareness.

May we all be free to express the beauty and love that is in our Hearts.

Barbara